capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
