I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize