I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize