yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Bring me that man meat
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize