i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
