I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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