I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
