Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
