I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I pour the whiskey from now on
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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