For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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