You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize