I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
