Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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