Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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