Duck Duck Cougar?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
