Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize