just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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