i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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