her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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