so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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