I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
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My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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