Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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