just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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