Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
