I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
dude. I can hear the air.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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