check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize