I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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