She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
