Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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