Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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