Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
