Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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