I'm going to jail i love you
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
