New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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