Soap is not a condiment
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
