Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
