Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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