OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
