i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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