i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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