There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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