i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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