I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
