dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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