omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
