Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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