For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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