Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
