WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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