I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
