i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
