Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
