I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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