3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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