"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
