I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
