Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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