so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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