How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
