i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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