Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
