i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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