After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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