Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no, he came in my armpit
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
