Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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