My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
