we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
