I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize