i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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