I'm going to jail i love you
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
